This morning I had to go back to a lesson J and I gave to the combined Priesthood and Relief Society last July. Our lesson was on being "anxiously engaged" and we talked about 5 roadblocks that keep us from being engaged in our responsibilities and callings. This is long and I really don't expect anyone to read it, but I decided to post my portions of our lesson because they are the ones that I personally struggle with the most, so I need to refer back to this often in my efforts to overcome. Here they are for my own quick access:
Overwhelmed: Who here feels
they have more to do then time on the clock?
Personally, as I look back over the last couple of months I’m not sure
where they went. It has been so busy
that July was gone before I even had a chance to really look at the June
calendar. Simply put, life is busy and I
know it is for ALL of us. We all feel
it, and that busy-ness can lead us to feel (dun,dun, DUN) overwhelmed. Sometimes to the point that just one more
thing feels impossible. So how do we
manage our lives, find time to serve, and become anxiously engaged? As I contemplated this, Mosiah 4:27 came to mind. Is there someone who can read that?
“. . .see that all these things are done in
wisdom and aorder; for it is not requisite that a man should run bfaster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient
that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all
things must be done in order.”
I think the key
phrase there is to do things in wisdom
and order. I have found that prioritizing helps me manage
my time and my energy. When I organize
myself, and have my priorities right, everything else has a way of falling into
place and somehow I am able to accomplish more.
I love this statement by Sister Beck:
“. . .when our
priorities are out of order we lose power.
If we need power and influence to carry out our [responsibilities], then
our priorities have to be straight.”
But how do we
figure out what our priorities should be?
Sister Beck starts her list with personal revelation. She says, “[To accomplish what I must], I
have to be able to know the mind and will of God. Therefore, I have to do the things in my life
that put me in a position to hear His voice.”
Brothers and sisters
are we doing that? Are we putting
ourselves in the position to know the mind and will of God? I believe the simplest way to know the mind
and will of God is through personal prayer.
Sister Beck stresses the importance of asking for help to understand our
mission for each day. Do we do
that? Do we ask for strength to fulfill
the duties we have been entrusted with? In
addition to that do we ask how we can bless the lives of those we have been
given stewardships over? I can promise
you that as you pray for the ability and desire to serve, especially your
family, your life will take on deeper meaning.
You will have a better understanding of yourself and others and the Lord
will take you by the hand and show you what you are capable of.
Perspective. There is so much expected of us that at
times, especially as women, we let ourselves get caught up in the idea that we
have to do it all. We want to take care
of everyone and everything and when we can’t, we get discouraged. At those times it is important to remember
that we don’t have to do everything, but we can do a lot! And what the Lord really expects is that we
do our best at what he has asked of us; what we have been called to do as parents,
spouses, and visiting/hometeachers. Brothers
and sisters, when we magnify these callings, when we really try to fulfill these
duties we have been given, The Lord magnifies us. He gives us a broader understanding of our
personal mission and a capacity to do more, and be more than we thought possible.
I know this is true because I have seen it in my own life. I am going to share with you one of my own
personal struggles. . . making phone calls.
Silly right? And yet just the thought
of talking on the phone is hard for me.
We’re not going to go into the psychological mumbojumbo of why because
that would take far more time than we have today, BUT as Jeff likes to remind
me, you can’t get good at something if you don’t practice, and so I force
myself to make those phone calls and ta da!
Visits get done (although admittedly sometimes those visits
have been phone call only).
Fear: All right let’s talk about Fear. How can fear keep us from fulfilling our
duties? What are we afraid of? (embarrassment, failure. . .) I’ve already told you that I have a fear of
the phone. I also have a fear of
visiting people (although it isn’t nearly as bad as it used to be). Let me share a personal experience from my
own life. Soon after Jeff and I were
married we found ourselves in a married student ward where I was called to
serve in the Relief Society Presidency.
Now mind you I was 19 and had little experience with Relief Society and
basically no experience with visiting people. Well at our first presidency meeting my fearless president decided we were going to split up, not into pairs, but as
individuals, and visit sisters. I was terrified. But what could I do? I took a deep breath and looked at my list. I
kind of knew one of the sisters so that seemed the best place to start. I walked slowly
to her house trying not to panic. Then I
took another deep breath and knocked on the door. No answer.
I knocked again. Still no
answer. So what did I do? I started to cry because I didn’t know anyone
else on that list and the thought of visiting someone I didn’t know TERRIFIED
me. Then I was too embarrassed to do
anything else so I went home, sat on my porch steps, and cried some more. Pretty productive right? Well with the help of my awesome husband and
an understanding Relief Society president I worked through that, and got a
little better at visiting.
A few years later we moved to Alabama where I was called to
the Young Women’s presidency. After receiving
the call I went home and prayed for help. At that point I felt an overwhelming
love for the girls that I would be serving.
I didn’t know them or anything about them, hadn’t even seen a list of
their names yet, but I loved them and was excited to serve them. Later that week the president came over, gave
me my list of beehives, and told me not a single one was active. She then told me my job was to get them
coming. And the natural way to do that
was to get to know them. But since they
would not be coming to me, I had to go to them.
So with just a list of addresses as a guide (this was pre-mapquest
days and I am not good at reading maps), I said a prayer and loaded my baby and my 2-year-old into the car and
started roaming the streets of Enterprise and Ozark Alabama in search of my
girls. And I found them. I would like to say that I got every single
one of them coming consistently, but that isn’t true. What did happen was that I wasn’t afraid to
do my job and I learned that when we pray for those we are called to serve and
ask for help in loving them it will be as Moroni says in chapter 8 verse 16,
“perfect love casteth out all fear.”
Honestly, I was surprised at how easy it was for me to get out there and
visit those girls. Love makes all the
difference, especially when we let the Savior’s love work through us.
President Monson has
said, “The catalyst in this process (of becoming anxiously engaged) has been
the principle of love.” (President Thomas S. Monson, “Anxiously Engaged” 2004))
Feeling inadequate: There is great value in your individual effort and the talents that you have to offer. In a recent conference address Elder Uchtdorf said, “You
may feel that there are others who are more capable or more experienced who
could fulfill your callings and assignments better than you can, but the Lord
gave you your responsibilities for a reason. There may be people and hearts
only you can reach and touch. Perhaps no one else could do it in quite the same
way.”
I have learned this many times in many ways, as my life has
been touched and I have been uplifted by those around me; people who have served
happily and faithfully in their callings.
From visiting teachers who listened to and loved me as I despaired over
my failures as a mother, to hometeachers who checked on me regularly when Jeff
has been on long trips, to primary teachers who have loved and appreciated my
children despite their challenges, and encouraged me in my parenting, to those
I have served alongside who have inspired me by their examples. . . I am grateful
for the efforts I have and continue to see, and feel, around me because they
have enabled me to serve better. When I
know that I don’t have to worry about how my children (or husband) are doing
because others are fulfilling their duties, I can focus on what I need to do in
my calling. And I am grateful to those
who ask for my help; who have recognized talents or abilities that I have and
have helped me to recognize them as well.
I have come to understand that there is always a reason for where we are
called to serve and that we and all of those around us benefit from service we
give. So Brothers and sisters I would
remind you, as I sometimes have to remind myself, that you are needed, and when
you don’t hold back we are all blessed.
Elder Maxwell, in speaking of consecration, said, “We
may, for instance, have a specific set of skills which we mistakenly come to
think we somehow own. If we continue to cling to those more than to God, we are
flinching in the face of the consecrating first commandment... A stumbling block appears when we serve God
generously with time and checkbooks but still withhold portions of our inner
selves, signifying that we are not yet fully His!”
We know that consecration is a celestial law, and a
difficult one to understand and uphold.
But what beautiful images it brings to my mind! I keep coming back to this picture of a place
where we are all working together, everyone is doing their part, everyone is
taken care of, and everyone is happy and fulfilled. I know that this is possible to attain. I know that when we are all involved, and
anxiously engaged, that we are able to reach our individual potential as well
as our collective potential. I truly
believe that when we don’t hold back, when we give what we have, especially our
time and our talents, we come closer to what our Heavenly Father intends us to
be, and closer to what heaven is.
