For Mothers

I went to lds.org this morning to look up some information about Relief Society and came across this link:  http://www.lds.org/service/serving-in-the-church/relief-society/teachings-for-mothers-april-2012?lang=eng

It is really worth checking out the whole link and I intend to print it as soon as I get a chance so I can read, ponder, and mark it up, but this part was particularly pertinent to what we are working on in our family right now so I am including it here.

“President Ezra Taft Benson taught: 'In an eternal sense, salvation is a family affair. … Above all else, children need to know and feel they are loved, wanted, and appreciated. They need to be assured of that often. Obviously, this is a role parents should fill, and most often the mother can do it best.'

“But another crucial source for that feeling of being loved is love from other children in the family. Consistent care of brothers and sisters for each other will come only with persistent effort by parents and the help of God. You know that is true from experience in your own families. … Give children opportunities to pray, when they can pray, for each other in the circle who need blessings. Discern quickly the beginnings of discord and recognize acts of unselfish service, especially to each other. When they pray for each other and serve each other, hearts will be softened and turned to each other and to their parents” (Henry B. Eyring, “Families under Covenant,” April 2012 general conference).

I recently read a book called, Siblings without rivalry, and (especially in light of the previous quote) it was interesting to me that the first thing they suggest is to that the parent ensure each child feels their worth as an individual without comparing them to a sibling or casting them into a role.  Then to help resolve conflicts between siblings, the books suggests acknowledging feelings without judgment and then encourage and support each child in finding their own way of resolving the conflict.

So putting this into action... Little D has taken to hitting and biting lately, much to AJ's disappointment and horror.  I keep trying to explain that reacting to him only encourages the behavior and that she needs to find a way to nicely help him to stop, but we didn't seem to be getting anywhere.  So I was really pleased and impressed when at the end of last week she took him aside and I could hear her talking to him calmly and nicely in the other room.  They both came out with smiles and she said that she was going to do a point system with him and if he didn't hit or bite he would be able to earn points for a prize.  She has modeled it after the point system I have been doing with them, but I was really proud of her for taking the initiative and finding a calm solution to the problem.

For anyone interested, I just added a sidebar of "Inspirational Sites" I like that offer great ideas, encouragement and resources for me as a mother and hope that someone else might find them helpful and uplifting too!